Today, so many people are worried about looking a certain way or upholding a certain standard that we haven't truly gotten the opportunity to know who we are, what we like, and what makes us happy. Taking the time to know yourself is essential time we must take for ourselves, but it seems as though people have been skipping over this. The community is in turn effected when the creativity and uniqueness in each of us is not sparked.
There is plenty of inspiration that hits us as soon as we pick up our phones to get on social media, and it is our job to take that inspiration and make it our own. It is even better when we can view the inspiration as something great that someone else is doing and move on. Trends have always been fun and it's fine to participate in them, but when it comes to involving ourselves in different activities we like or wearing the clothes that we prefer, all of us can do better. Everyone moves through life at different speeds and paces, so for some, there may be an “Aha!” moment while for others, gradual life experiences are the teachers.
Take yourself back to your first day of middle school. All new kids and new opportunities to either make friends..or not. Kids are cruel. Were you the cruel one? What were the group of kids that you called your friends doing? Either way, middle school is a time when kids use their friends as influencers on their lives. You want to fit in and be cool. You aren't quite worried about being yourself because the pressure is so real from the other kids.
Now a days, kids have even more pressure to be "perfect" not only because of what they see in school, but the snapshot moments of happiness portrayed on profiles on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and SnapChat.
It almost breaks my heart to think about the heartache this age group has to go through after being bullied or after an embarrassing moment at school.It is what we went through 10+ years ago plus the continuous scrutiny they face from post after post about it online. Some situations involving a small circle in school and some going viral with 1 million+ views.
It is during these moments that kids begin to form their sense of self. It is during these moments that parenting is so important to help our children understand the importance of getting to know themselves. And it is also during these moments when confidence building, decision making skills and appropriate guidance can prepare us for who we will be in the future.
My interest was triggered even more after watching the Netflix Original: Reality High. The main character, Dani, lived her life as an awkward teenage girl due to a childhood prank that went viral. She was smart, hospitable, and beautiful but children in middle school decided she was an outcast and like I said, kids are cruel, so her belief about who she was was highly based off what the other kids thought about her. The handsome character in the movie she had a crush on since 3rd grade finally took the time to know himself, and realized he wanted a girlfriend who was more than just a pretty face. When he finally realized Dani was the perfect girl, getting to date the guy of her dreams helped boost her confidence. Unfortunately that confidence took a spin when she started hanging out with the most popular girl in school, Alexa, who had 9 million followers and who was the same girl that played that horrible prank on her when they were younger. Dani never took the time to know herself and in return became the girl she was hanging around. Her boyfriend started to watch her change and become something she was not. He broke up with her, Alexa made a fool of her virally for the second time, and she almost lost her recommendation to college from her mentor. Everything seemed to be going downhill all because she was being someone she was not. Luckily she had an honest dad to talk some sense into her.
He let her know she had been being acting “dumb” for sitting around the house all day moping about what people thought of her, especially when she knows none of the things were true and it did not matter what others thought of her. She sucked up her tears and made a live video talking to everyone about who she really is and how she lost herself and the guy she loved trying to be someone she was not.
Sometimes it takes these hard moments to push us into figuring out who we are and being 100% comfortable with that. As cliche as it sounds, there is only one you, so get to know and love yourself.
Fast forward to the college years or ages 18-21. You are out of high school and not a lot of people can tell you what you should be doing and how you should act. You are now able to be who you want to be and who makes you happy. Butfirst you must find it and express it.
This is also a time where freedom can take over and you can loose control. This often times happens to the kids who were super sheltered in high school, so once there is a taste of freedom, it may or may not be taken too far. Learn to control your impulses and think things through. Think about the reactions and consequences from the last time you tried something to insure that you are learning from your mistakes.
Make mistakes because that is the only way to learn from them.Go with your gut and intuition. Lastly, always put you first. You may find a significant other who takes over every feeling and emotion in your body. So much so that you lose yourself. Never lose yourself.
This is why it is suggested to know yourself before getting into a relationship. Being in a relationship should hold the perfect balance between self care and care for your loved ones. So often do we lose ourselves in the ones we love we forget to love ourselves and it starts with taking the time to know yourself.
